(or anywhere else, for that matter)
(Warning: Dad, if you're reading... please stop)
1. I have witnessed a thong sticking out the back of someone's pants while they were crouching at the filing cabinet. It was enough to make me dry heave. I've been somewhat traumatized by this.
2. I'm not a big fan of feeling my bare butt cheeks rub against my clothes. It makes me feel very exposed. I think it must be a deep-rooted survival instinct.
3. As the day progresses, thongs tend to creep wickedly up into my tender nether-regions. By 5:00 p.m., it must be surgically removed.
4. I do not enjoy the sensation of fabric in my crack. My crack does not want it.
5. No support, people. There is too much freedom of the cheeks and noticeable additional butt jiggle. And when you've got a butt like mine (think J-Lo) you don't want any extra jiggle. Nor do you want your boss noticing your jiggle.
6. No pantyline= the appearance of going commando. Noticeably going commando= the appearance that you ran out of clean underwear.
7. Chafing can occur when wearing rough fabric. Chafing is not fun!
8. Thongs are not the best choice for hot, sweaty, summertime days. 'Nuff said.
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